<confluence> It would have been helpful if you had told us that in the first place.
<Vhata> sorry, what confluence said
<trender> it ould have been helpfull if one of you okes stepped up to the plate sooner
<trender> would
<trender> all im hearing is dissing and static man...
<trender> its about 7 years old
<Vhata> I think we tried to find out info quite early, and you kept the fact that you knew the specific brand of linux hidden right up until confluence hazarded a guess
<Vhata> so I'm going to tap out now, because it's 11pm on a Sunday night and you're not willing to meet us halfway even though we're giving you help for free
<trender> im nnot asking for free help dude
<trender> read above!!
<trender> im hoping you can read
<Vhata> I didn't say you were asking for free help, I said we were giving you free help
<confluence> I got enough of a free sample to know that you couldn't possibly pay me enough to make me want to deal with you professionally.
<Daev> not that I was in, I am out. night
<trender> confluence im not interested in paying you...i dont think you have the skills
<confluence> What a relief.
<trender> if i needed a jackass i wouldnt need to come to a channel called #clug to find one surely
<Cow> where do you normally go
<confluence> Cow, you're making me choke on a rusk.
<confluence> Like, literally.
<Cow> lols
<trender> yea yea haha
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<cocooncrash> Vhata: I've taken down eth1 and eth2 and it seems to be working
<Vhata> cocooncrash: ah. thanks.
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<Vhata> Spinach: cocooncrash ++
<Vhata> Spinach: cocooncrash ++
<cocooncrash> scoundrel had the same problem, but mammon didn't :-/
<Cow> w00t
<Cow> k fix my problem now
<Cow> takes about 10 seconds to get an ssh prompt for machine on gb network
<asyn> And mine!
<Cow> me first
<asyn> I've got a goat, a wolf, and a cabbage, and I need to cross a river.
<Cow> haha

<Count_Janik> and rather glad current work gave me a laptop too
<LordCow> but they're like moar expensive
<LordCow> and crumbier hardware
<LordCow> and tiny keyboards
<LordCow> and when something goes wrong you normally can't fiddle with it
<Count_Janik> but like you can take them with you
<LordCow> that's the only plus innit
<tumbleweed> and they work in bed
* tumbleweed finds them too restrictive to be a primary workstation, though
<LordCow> delayed 'so's your mom'
<tumbleweed> where's Sigh whevn we need your mom jokes?
<LordCow> probably with your mom
<wizzy> lol

<tumbleweed> cocooncrash/*: how does one delete virsh instances (the right way)
<tumbleweed> libvirt I mean
<cocooncrash> tumbleweed: Delete as in shutdown or terminate?
<tumbleweed> no, as in delete
<cocooncrash> Not sure actually
<tumbleweed> because I normally screw up creation the first time
<cocooncrash> tumbleweed: Probably 'undefine'
<LordCow> like god?
<tumbleweed> yay
<tumbleweed> Spinach: cocooncrash ++ [[ I swear I searched 10 times ]]
<Vhata> Spinach: LordCow ++
<LordCow> lols
<tumbleweed> lol, I missed that :)

<confluence> Wow, that was some epic typilng fail.
<willemb> does anyone have reccommended reading material on managing large distributed environments?
<froztbyte> well, I guess the tools exist, just not that many people who do admin that many servers
<froztbyte> willemb: high availability blog (or is it scalability?)
<Balistic> highscalability.org
<froztbyte> http://highscalability.com/
<Balistic> ;P
<Balistic> i always the .org and .com 's mixed up
<LordCow> it's fine they'll scale up to all domains soon
<Vhata> I accidentally the TLD
<Vhata> the whole thing
<LordCow> rufl
<froztbyte> hehe
<froztbyte> so..like..where do I get the dovecot FTS plugin?
<willemb> looks like i have some reading to do :-)
<Balistic> Is my xchat ripping out words? 'Vhata> I accidentally the TLD'
<cocooncrash> ROFL
* LordCow rolls around
<cocooncrash> <~Vhata> I accidentally deleted the TLD
<cocooncrash> Balistic: Need to get your eyes checked?
* froztbyte has trouble not laughing out very very loudly
<froztbyte> cocooncrash: it seems he does
<Balistic> this is not the first time it has happened
<cocooncrash> orly?
<Balistic> stupid xchat
<Balistic> cocooncrash, no not orally
<cocooncrash> Spinach: xchat-- [losing words]
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<tumbleweed> lol:
<tumbleweed> Starting server in PID 7979.
<tumbleweed> serving on 0.0.0.0:8080 view at http://127.0.0.1:8080
<LordCow> can't connect to 127.0.0.1:8080 ..
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<tumbleweed> LordCow: PID 7979, listening on 8080
<cocooncrash> tumbleweed: Not working for me either
<Vhata> I can't seem to access that URL
<tumbleweed> cocooncrash: no shit?
<Vhata> tumbleweed: check that it's actually running?
<Vhata> sometimes they say they are but then they break
<cocooncrash> Spinach: get http://127.0.0.1:8080
<Spinach> cocooncrash: 500 Can't connect to 127.0.0.1:8080 (connect: Connection refused)
<LordCow> could be my isp ..
* tumbleweed puts his head in his hands

<LordCow> # mdadm --detail /dev/hda1
<LordCow> mdadm: /dev/hda1 does not appear to be an md device
<LordCow> is that bad?
<Nitwit> LordCow: I'm surprised that -v doesn't print anything when you try to add. I didn't think mdadm had any totally silent code paths.
<mithrandi> I accidentally a whole RAID array, is this bad?
<LordCow> rofl
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<netdog> evening
<froztbyte> evening netdog
<LordCow> evening netdog froztbyte
<cocooncrash> evening netdog froztbyte LordCow
<drubin> evening netdog froztbyte LordCow cocooncrash
<mithrandi> evening netdog froztbyte LordCow cocooncrash drubin
<highvoltage> evening netdog froztbyte LordCow cocooncrash drubin mithrandi
<highvoltage> .
<highvoltage> UGH (sorry)

<highvoltage> not sure if I've posted this here before: http://www.myextralife.com/?p=10049
<LordCow> must be nerds commenting on that
<LordCow> cause it should read zomg she's hot!
<highvoltage> oh yes, I haven't even noticed
* highvoltage ftl
<LordCow> haha
<highvoltage> the coolness of her reading tomorrows paper was just too overwhelming

<Karnaugh> it had GP plates on so I figured it was stolen and dumped or some shit
<highvoltage> did they lose it?
<Karnaugh> I guess not because half an hour later the driver pitches up and left
<Karnaugh> the row of cars was all shouting at him and he didn't say anything
<Macavity> Karnaugh: amazing! talking cars, huh?

<Tim> is anyone watching the olympics at the moment?
<nbm> I imagine there are a few people doing so.
<Vhata> probably, yeah

<highvoltage> can you guys see this? http://download.novell.com/protected/Accept.jsp?buildid=N1YveG_t53Y~
<Outsider> yes
<Outsider> it's a URL

<ScorpKing> Vhata: btw, i like you're site. you seem more scorpio than libra ;) weird. heh
<Vhata> it is weird that you think that the day I was born should have any effect on what sort of stuff I put on my webpage, yes.
<TeePOG> server went down on me AGAIN
<MrKen> smitty: Connection is a lot worse withouth the aerial and cable
<smitty> ja aerial = more signal dB but cable loss then decreases that
<smitty> if you could have an aerial with a short cable then that would help preserve your increased signal strength
<MrKen> smitty: *nod*
<LordCow> Do you want to be a king of bed?
<LordCow> help preserve your increased signal strength
<LordCow> nowadays we want to offer you enormous range of medications at the extremely low prices
<Vhata> Spinach: LordCow ++
<LordCow> lulz

<D-Arb> make backups
<LordCow> backups? what's that ;p
<Outsider> it is what a truck does when it goes backwards
<Vhata> *beep beep beep*

<Symmetria> rebooting mirror
<Symmetria> something went really odd with it
<Pavlov> Connecting to mirror.ac.za[155.232.137.102]:80... failed: Connection refused.
<Pavlov> grrr
<Symmetria> pavlov gimme a second
<Symmetria> Im bouncing the box
<Symmetria> something went really really fucked
<mithrandi> *boing*
<Symmetria> system will take 8 to 10 minutes to boot
<Symmetria> if nothing goes wrong during the boot sequence
<Outsider> Symmetria: perhaps you were testing the forkbomb on the wrong box ?
<Symmetria> haha wasnt me testing any fork bomb
<Symmetria> :p
<mithrandi> haha
* Outsider always gets windows mixed
<mithrandi> 8 to 10 minutes? ouch
<Symmetria> mithrandi heh, *huge* system
<Symmetria> got a lot of tests it has to run
<Outsider> flashes leds
<Outsider> makes beeps
<Outsider> boot
<Outsider> mithrandi: obviously has lots of leds to test
<mithrandi> rofl
<Symmetria> heh, it runs ram/cpu tests
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<Symmetria> and psu tests
<Symmetria> etc
<Symmetria> and then boots the zones one by one
<LordCow> halp i can't download from mirror.ac.za
<Symmetria> LordCow hold
<LordCow> lolz
<Outsider> LordCow: /me tests
<Outsider> LordCow: oh noes. me too!
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<LordCow> outsider: do you need lunix files too?
<plz> can ne 1 halp me i cant use mirror.ac.za ! ! ! !
<Outsider> LordCow: yes
<LordCow> haha
<Outsider> LordCow: I can accessorz windows files
<plz> i try to cennect but it give an error help
<Symmetria> ok
<Symmetria> its back up
<Symmetria> with rsync
<Symmetria> and ftp
<Symmetria> and http
<Symmetria> all working again
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<Symmetria> -bash-3.00# netstat -na |grep -c ESTABLISHED
<Symmetria> 829
<mithrandi> I couldn't keep a straight face there :P
<Symmetria> hehe
<Outsider> Symmetria: remember to check which window you're in
<Outsider> Symmetria: try coloured prompts
<LordCow> lol
<Outsider> Symmetria: or a KVM

<Dave> Vhata: your virgin money spy might be -> http://vincentmaher.com/moneytalks/
<Vhata> hmm
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<LordCow> do not want
<Nitwit> LordCow: How very anti-yuppie of you. You do realise you're undermining the whole capitalist system with that sentiment?
<Vhata> I builded you a socialist utopia, but I corrupted it
<LordCow> haha

<highvoltage> Vhata: the rosary?
<Vhata> yes
<highvoltage> hehe. I read "Hail Mary" as "Hai Mary"
* highvoltage blames Outsider
<Vhata> Ohai Mary, u can has grace
<highvoltage> lol
* Outsider takes the blame LIKE A MAN
<Vhata> this r blessed thread. u r blessed amongst wimminz

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<liam> phew just a network glitch...
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* jerith strings up Outsider, highvoltage, Karnaugh, nlt and plonk on the nearest gallows
<Vhata> jerith: what is the commonality among those five?
<LordCow> they're all nerds of course
<jerith> That they were selected by a random number generator.
<jerith> I specifically excluded you, me and LordCow, though.
<LordCow> how did you number everyone?
<jerith> The order they appear in /names.
<LordCow> good choice
<Vhata> objective
<jerith> I chose a random number between 1 and 50 (couldn't be bothered to count properly) and just rerolled if it was too high
<jerith> And once when I accidentally selected myself.
<LordCow> sounds like an award winning algorithm
<LordCow> would you mind spelling it out in pseudo LOLCODE?
<jerith> HAI
<jerith> CAN HAS STDIO?
<LordCow> *rofl*
<jerith> IN UR LOOP
<jerith> I HAS A NUMBER IZ RANDOM
<jerith> BTW Manually choose name from list based on number.
<jerith> VISIBLE NUMBER
<jerith> IZ END O RLY?
<jerith> YA RLY KTHNXBYE
<jerith> KBYE

<LordCow> 'Her bubble burst when she met the Pretoria man after she resigned from her job and left her husband in December.'
<LordCow> "He wasn't what I expected at all."
<LordCow> damn how thick can you be
<LordCow> nooo
<LordCow> 'That really opened my eyes about Mxit and I feel so guilty because I introduced her to it.'
<LordCow> mxit isn't the problem
<LordCow> stupid ppl are the problem
<LordCow> stop stupid ppl
* LordCow hopes stupid ppl don't stumble onto IRC
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<LordCow> erk too late :/
<TeePOG> hehehehehehe
<TeePOG> that should go in the qdb

<Vhata> how do I turn "./../foo/../bar/baz/bing*.txt" into a full path?
<Outsider> echo ?
<Outsider> no
<Vhata> no
<Vhata> to save time, let's rule out suggestions that I would've already tried :P

<bisybackson> dtrace++
<bisybackson> wow
<Vhata> E: Unable to locate package dtrace
<bisybackson> use pkgadd ;)
<bisybackson> (you have to be running solaris though)
<Vhata> what does it do?
<Outsider> at a guess, it adds packages

<Guest2076158003> Where do I find recently graduated nerds looking for jobs?
<pipedream> Guest2076158003: the pub
<pipedream> Guest2076158003: clug-work mailing list?
*** Guest2076158003 is now known as nlt
<nlt> I think the pub would be a better option
<Nitwit> depends on the type of nerd you're looking for, though
<nlt> Nitwit: Functional Nerds
<Nitwit> then you need to get to the pub quite early

<highvoltage> child in time is a great song
<Outsider> my cat eats supper at 7
<Vhata> I moved my deodorant to the other side of the desk
<smitty> not much happening in #clug today...
<Outsider> my dad has a shovel
<Vhata> I'm wearing shoes.
<highvoltage> i just took a yoghurt suppliment

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<lipstick> sup
<highvoltage> sup lipstick
<lipstick> sup highvoltage
<lipstick> what going down?
<highvoltage> it's going down.
<lipstick> you need to get laid
<lipstick> so do I
<highvoltage> I don't like where this is going.

<tea> *sigh* BUG: unable to handle kernel NULL pointer dereference at virtual address 00000000
<highvoltage> tea: I can help you, if you want
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<tea> I want
<LordCow> the error msg calls itself a bug?
<LordCow> l33t
<highvoltage> tea: ok, you have to take your hands off your keyboard, and take a deap breath take a deap breath
<LordCow> lol
<highvoltage> then, imagine a waterfall and a river
<highvoltage> you're standing in the river, knee deep
<highvoltage> the waterfall is behind you
* tea is right there
<highvoltage> in front of you, is someone that's causing you lots of grief
<tea> (except for the hands bit)
<highvoltage> you push them under water, and keep them there
<tea> um
<highvoltage> they struggle a bit, but you keep him/her underwater
<highvoltage> bubbles gently flow up
<Vhata> hold fast
<Vhata> soon, the bubbles stop
<highvoltage> yes, it does
<Vhata> they spasm slightly
<Vhata> and then lie still
<highvoltage> tea: now, take a deep breath in
<highvoltage> tea: and out again
<highvoltage> tea: feels good, doesn't it?
<tea> no, that was horrible highvoltage
<highvoltage> ok. works for me.

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<aiefem> anyone running windows Vista?
<aiefem> does anyone know were i can find the file : dwmapi.dll
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*** surge (highvoltag@B77A20E1.B37AB0E7.F7584A7.IP) has joined #clug
<highvoltage> uhm
*** surge has been kicked off #clug by highvoltage (thank you, but your services are no longer required)
<LordCow> swakness
<LordCow> obviously didn't have surge protection
<yuky> har

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<peterretief> there seem to be many people on #clug today
<surge> they look like bots to me.
<peterretief> hmm?
<surge> nm.
<Vhata> Just drink the kool-aid
<peterretief> ok
<LordCow> Estaga: google for botnets
<LordCow> mm
<LordCow> *tap*
<yuky> oh lordy
<yuky> they're in teh floor
<yuky> they're in the floor!
* yuky runs
<LordCow> haha
<LordCow> floorbot is watching u masterbate!

<Vhata> it's inelegant to put a "delete from table where timestamp > foo" in index.php
<Vhata> as in, putting periodic maintenance just randomly somewhere, because you know it'll get run
<pipedream> .
<Outsider> .
<LordCow> good points all round

<D-Arb> if you had two hackers in front of you, and one knew vim, and the other knew joe, but they were otherwise identical, who would you hire?
<Outsider> the vim guy
<Outsider> wait
<Outsider> who is vim?
<D-Arb> vim the editor
<Outsider> aah
<Outsider> I thought joe was a person
<Outsider> the vim guy

<plonk> nbm: Just for interest sake, try to get hold of "We have no right to happiness", a paper written by Lewis
<plonk> nbm: http://yourdailycslewis.blogspot.com/2004/11/we-have-no-right-to-happiness.html
<nbm> Who said we had a right to happiness anyway?
<Vhata> we have a right to pursuit of happiness
<DeMonet> Vhata takes the words out of DeMonet's mouth.
<Vhata> DeMonet: ^5
<peterretief> transmutation of the soul is not based on ones choice of religion but a personal occupation which can use rules defined in any of the major religions
<DeMonet> ^5!
<nbm> I'm not sure we have a right to pursue happiness particularly, either.
<DeMonet> peterretief: Yebo - S'practice not an automatic consequence of signing away your ability to reason and think independently
<nbm> It's a wishy-washy right compared to the others.
<nbm> Our pursuit of happiness should not be unnecessarily restricted - sure.
* DeMonet thinks that nbm can do whatever he wants to but he better not mess with DeMonet's right to do whatever he wants to :)
<nbm> DeMonet: _whatever_, eh? ;)
* peterretief transmutes
<peterretief> a little
<Vhata> nbm: yes, as long as it doesn't mess with DeMonet's rights
* DeMonet introduces the channel to the golden rule
<nbm> Vhata: Or anyone else's.
<Vhata> nbm: well yes
<nbm> Vhata: And what do you do when they intersect?
<Vhata> settle it with indian leg wrestling
* DeMonet spews his coffee out of his nose

<Vhata> what's the "D" in "DES"?
<Vhata> Spinach: define DES
<Spinach> Vhata: DES n 1: a potent estrogen used in medicine and in feed for livestock and poultry [syn: {diethylstilbestrol}, {diethylstilboestrol}, {stilbestrol}, {stilboestrol}, {DES}] 2: synthetic nonsteroid with the properties of estrogen; formerly used to treat menstrual problems but was found to be associated with vaginal cancers in the daughters of women so treated during pregnancy [syn: {diethylstilbesterol}, {DES}, {stilbesterol}]
<nbm> Dag
<Vhata> Spinach: define DES using vera
<Spinach> Vhata: DES Data Encryption Standard (cryptography, NIST, IBM) DES Destination End System
<Nitwit> Advanced Encryption Standard, which based off Rijndael
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<Nitwit> There's some debate as to exactly how hard Rinjdael keys are, but, last time I looked closely, they were arguing about factors of the order of 2^8
<LordCow> i dunno about rinjdael keys but i'm definately hard
<Vhata> LordCow: this is why you aren't invited to crypto conferences
<LordCow> haha

<yuky> spinach google for shoot from teh hip cut to the chase
<Spinach> yuky: Google found 'Interests', at http://www.blurty.com/interests.bml?int=belts
<yuky> spinach google for shoot from teh hip cut to the chase I tell her straight like a slut to her face
<Spinach> yuky: Google found 'SlangSite.com - The Slang Dictionary', at http://www.slangsite.com/slang/T.html
<yuky> riiight
<Vhata> yuky: a good policy is to spell the words you're googling for properly ;-)
<yuky> SO'S YOUR FACE!
* Vhata is floored
<yuky> showed him

<highvoltage> dammit. i shouldn't have bad-mouth ipod. mine disappeared again :(
<highvoltage> and i want to go to gym today.
<rukus> you proberly used it the last time you were working yesterday.
<highvoltage> nah, it was last when i was last at gym. more than a week ago.
* Outsider finished Spiderman: The Other
<Vhata> /10?
<Outsider> 9
<Outsider> really really good
<LordCow> guys
<LordCow> i've got sumthin 2 tell u
<Outsider> girls
<Outsider> "something"
<Outsider> "to"
<Outsider> "you"
<Outsider> :)
<LordCow> yes
<LordCow> now i've lost my momentum
<LordCow> it was important
<LordCow> and difficult for me
<LordCow> ok
<Outsider> quick, now!
<LordCow> i'm ready again
<LordCow> ok
<LordCow> i .. am spiderman
<Outsider> Vhata: do we kick him now or later?
<LordCow> haha
<Vhata> um
<Vhata> we can ignore him
<Outsider> ok

<nlt> I think im going to write a news site that randomly generates news based on a few constants. I doubt it will be that far off.
<nlt> bomb here
<nlt> actor arrested for drugs there
<nlt> congressman/priest admits to molesting teenager but blames drugs/drink problem
<tea> taxi collides with bus; 473 killed
<nlt> Workers strike, police called in to shoot rubber bullets
<nlt> Manto Tshabalala-Msimang recommends a vegetable to cure aids...
<nlt> ivy matsepe casaburri does something blatently in telkom's favour.

<NetDog> Dude what program can i run from the ubuntu live cd to check my dick cause it keeps failin to partition
<NetDog> My disk* sorry

<NetDog> debian is nice.. I like it lots but..
<NetDog> I dont really feel it as much as i do some of the other distro's like gentoo I tried and liked too..
<Vhata> what does 'feel it' mean?
<Outsider> you feel distros ?
<NetDog> and its hard for me to choose a distro
<NetDog> to master
<NetDog> I have already gotten used to suse
<Vhata> but SuSe doesn't work
<Vhata> you have to resort to compiling mplayer
<Outsider> NetDog: 99% of #clug use debian/ubuntu. Unfortunatly it means that we can't really help you with SuSE
<NetDog> :(
<Vhata> and we use it for a reason
<Vhata> because it's *good* and *easy*
<NetDog> I understand however.. I need to get used SuSe seeing as the company i work for SLES servers for oracle
<Vhata> NetDog: so you can stop saying that you "are comfortable with" or "feel" SuSE. You're not a girl, and this isn't art, so those aren't reasons for using a distribution
<LordCow> murmur: how do you know?
<murmur> LordCow: I... know things
* LordCow draws the curtains
* highvoltage never opens his curtains
* highvoltage didn't even have curtains until about two weeks ago
<highvoltage> the blinds didn't keep enough light out
<LordCow> huh?
<LordCow> oh, no i meant i was drawing a picture of my curtains
<highvoltage> ah, of course.

<LordCow> $variable = readfile(pathtofile)
<LordCow> ?
<Outsider> tea: thank you dad
<Vhata> LordCow: file_get_contents
<Vhata> LordCow: http://php.ru.ac.za/manual/en/function.file-get-contents.php
<LordCow> uhh
<LordCow> k, ta
<Vhata> LordCow: I have a friend you should talk to
<Vhata> he's Spanish
<Vhata> his name is Manuel
<LordCow> howcome
<Vhata> he knows *everything*
<Vhata> so in future, when you ask a question, I'll tell you to repeat the question to my friend Manuel, okay?
<LordCow> sure
<Vhata> Repeat To Friend Manuel
<Vhata> or "RTFM" for short
<Vhata> it can be our little code
<Outsider> ahahahah
<LordCow> ahhh
<Outsider> Vhata: I didn't see that coming